Sick leave is over

The 2 older children and I have been sick all week. Its been ok. We didn't get to go anywhere and that was nice in a way. But we missed out too. I had to miss Bible study, which threw me off of my daily studies and homework for the class, so now I am behind. We had to miss Wednesday night, Edmund is awesome at saying his memory verses at AWANA and missed seeing his friends. And I was supposed to start practice for our SWAT Praise Team. Grrr....But I got to stay home. I got to snuggle my babies. We watched a lot of movies. And my office is CLEAN!!! For the first time in 2 years since we bought our house! Yesterday we started feeling better and decided to resume our Friday schedule. We leave the house early and go grocery shopping. We try to get there around 8. Then we have tap lessons at 10. I enjoy Fridays. I enjoyed today. Shopping in the morning is amazing! There are so many less people at Wal Mart! Anyway, we had a good morning. And then we got home. And the lists of things that I really need to do all came flooding back. And there are dishes piled high. Toys scattered all around. And always more laundry to do. We were invited to the pumpkin patch and I was torn about going because I have ALL this STUFF to do. The kids walked in the house and instantly started to tear a box apart and I screamed at them. And then I breathed and said I was sorry for yelling at them. Its not important. We need to go to the pumpkin patch. We LOVE the pumpkin patch and it will be good for our spirits to go and be together and spend time. Deepen friendships. ALL this STUFF will wait for another hour. Another day.

Starting Over; Real Words

When I opened my blogspot account forever ago, I didn't know what blogging was and I didn't think that I would ever write anything worthy of merit-I can't write!

At least the lie that I believe of myself is that I'm never or will ever be good enough.

The words, they never come out right.
The aren't ever carved out perfectly.
They aren't good enough.
So I don't publish them.

But to whom do I write? Who is my audience?

I'm switching gears and bearing my heart wide open. And I'm scared. And I don't want to.

But I keep hearing this urging to write my story. To lay down the ugly. To show the struggle in my heart. To give thanks. To worship.

And my audience is One.

And I offer this space to my God. And I ask you Lord for your words. For your healing. For your glory to shine through.

Because in all this mess-my life-you are weaving and working and making me whole.

Wholly yours.